During Zarina's morning nap I'm supposed to take my shower and get ready for the day. Today was an extra long nap, almost two hours, but I became lost in the blogging world. Zarina woke up just as I finished reading my list on bloglines. ( I also went through my emails and spent a few minutes on Facebook.) So now it's noon and I haven't showered, I am still in my pj's and will likely stay that way until her afternoon nap. This past Saturday Brien and I talked during the morning nap and then he had some errands to run. I asked him to stay home and watch the baby so I could shower. He told me, "Just do with her whatever you do during the week when you shower." I then had to explain that my window of free time is her naptime.
I'm on the laptop today, and Baby Z is trying to help me type, and adjust the screen. Even giving her the TV remote isn't deterring her from reaching for the keyboard.
I love being a mom to my little girl, but honestly I don't love being a Stay At Home Mom. From this side of the fence I think I would eliminate some stress and depression if I were able to send her off to a babysitter for a few hours while I went to work and dealt with people who could communicate. That's not going to happen though, so I am trying to be happier with my situation. I know that happiness is a state of mind, so that means that perhaps I really wouldn't be happier if I were working.
I better get back to work and fix Zarina some lunch while she is still a happy baby.
12 comments:
Your daughter is adorable! My youngest is named Marina, kinda close to Zarina! I've been a stay at home mom for 12 years, and it is a roller coaster. There are a lot of times I would LOVE to go to work and chat it up with some adults. On the other hand, I would miss hanging out with my little ones. Anyways, I understand what it takes, and you'll be fine!
It's hard being a Mom. I agree with Jamie, it's a roller coaster! Some days you love it and other days you want to pull your hair out. Maybe you could find something to do part-time. Like maybe when Brien is home. That way you won't have to leave her with a babysitter. I don't always love going to work, but it's a good way to get out and have some adult interaction and time away from being "mama" for awhile.
I also like to get out of the house by myself every once in awhile, even if it's just to run to the store or go to the gym.
I just realized that part-time for you would probably be an everyday thing (Lucky for me, my part-time is two nights a week). If that's not possible, maybe you could find a volunteer type gig? Just a thought.
I know how ya feel. It gets better when they get older and can entertain themselves. Get some Baby Einstein DVD's, like Baby Mozart or Baby Beethoven and that'll buy ya at least 30 minutes!
It's hard when they're little.
I remember the days of not getting a shower until Eden was asleep, or Lilah when it was just her. I liked to sleep until they woke up, which limited my options. Now I just have them, which it's usually just Eden who's awake, watch PBS, while I shower.
I don't want to suggest anything to do or try 'cause I know you've tried different things, but I do want to send my love.
The girls were so happy to see you that whenever Lilah thinks about how far away you live she starts to cry a little, and I'm not even joking, she gets sad when she thinks about you guys. She's a very emotional girl.
We love you and even though it's fun to visit the cooler weather in the summer I'd much rather have you close, if I had a say in where you lived, and I know Lilah would agree.
Love you!
there are frustrating days of course, 3 little ones 3 and under had their stressful days, then add 2 more to make 5, but suddenly they were over. There were many times we thought maybe I should get some type of job to help with income, but who do I ship my most prized possessions off to? No one, believe NO ONE will love them and take care of them like their mom and dad. grandparents and aunts and uncles run a very close 2nd. wrap her up put her in the stroller and go for a walk, without Jack if needed. the fresh air and change of scenery will make a world of difference. Remember there are thousands of moms out there that would give anything to be the one to raise their children, be greatful you have a husband who loves you and your baby enough to do everything he can so you can stay home. we wish our babies could hold thier heads up, then wish they could sit up, then crawl, then walk then eat by themselves then dress themselves then all of a sudden they are married, there are no second chances every day is important in both your baby and your lives. this day of stress will pass quicker than you can imagine.
I love you and remember Bloom Where You are Planted.
Deneece
It is hard with the first one. By the time #2 comes along you are so busy with both kids- it helps the days pass by a little quicker.
Keep intouch with the friends and neighbors around you - church activities. We have all been there and wondered the same things. You can do it! Take care and we love you all!
I meant to leave a comment awhile ago and then when you commented on my blog I remembered about it. Anyhow, I agree with you it can be difficult sometimes. Anyone who says it's not is delusional or lying! I am the same way, showering and doing whatever else I can while Addy is napping. I know that a couple of times (only a couple, but better than nothing) we've gotten a babysitter and gone out on a date. That always makes me feel more happy and the alone time together with your husband also strengthens your relationship with each other. Hopefully I'm not giving you uneeded or unwanted advice. (I'm so not a fan of people doing that!) If you'd ever like to chat send me an e-mail (liss1998@gmail.com) and I'll send you my phone #. I'd love to talk!
i felt way more isolated with my 1st. it was hard to go from schedule and working to nothing. i just tried to get out as much as possible. now with three i hardly have time to think about my woahs like i did with one. it will be way easier on you when she is older and more independent!
i always admire those like you who do the right thing....even when it is DANG hard sometimes. hang in there friend. :)
I remember when maddy was this age and I used to lock her in the bathroom with me while I showered. I would bring toys in for her to play with. I did shower everyday and I was usually ready by ten. But I was not modest.
The first time I went somewhere with Tom's family without him they thought I was weird for bringing the baby into the bathroom with me. You do what you gotta do.
By the time I had Jacob I'd turn on a movie for maddy and jake in my room and leave the bathroom door open. Now they won't even come into my room when I shower. I just latch the high latch on the doors out of the house and hope that nothing happens. Am I crazy?
They are all the way down stairs and my house is mostly kid prof. I could worry till I'm sick or I could just keep going. I choose to keep going.
It gets better! This is a hard stage and really one can be harder at times than 2-3. Right now I have my 4 (older 2 in school) and I babysit a 7 month old. Luckily he loves his swing! I take the 3 young ones and go to a ocal church for excersize, they play around us in the gym, baby sleeps, then we go home, put a show on and baby in his swing and I get a shower then make lunch. Sometimes the shower waits til his afternoon nap, or until he goes home at 5, (I have to shower daily!) but the older kids help so much and come get me if there is a problem it is great!
So it will get better! I remember those days and it was hard, but it is worth it in so many ways! She is so happy and cute, you are a great mommy!
I'm so sorry you're feeling blue but it was nice to hear someone be truthful. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work and I only do it on my track breaks. I remember being home after Kaia was born and feeling like I was living in the movie Groundhog Day and the only way I could tell it was a new day was by who took a shower that day. Kaia and I used to alternate days. Anyway, when I was at home I couldn't wait to go back to work and now that I'm working I can't wait for weekends or track breaks to spend time with her. It's always a struggle. I have no advice. I'm just relieved I wasn't the only Mom who felt that way.
Deniece
P.S. You are missed in Vegas. Tell Brien Vegas is a desert full of dirt for him to study.
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